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create edited 160d ago
tag grooming
Tag description Depicts the systematic psychological manipulation of a character (typically younger or inexperienced) into sexual compliance though prolonged emotional conditioning.
note Common enough trope and would help people searching for the psychological subtext this gives

Examples(17)

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  1. lenga 66d ago

    Edited to fit swiftyooh's description since it's better

    Description
    -When and adult manipulates a younger partner into the relationship. Applies to a parent that raises their children thinking incest is okay or a teacher that gives a student psichological support to get in their pants and creating a emotional dependence.
    +Depicts the systematic psychological manipulation of a character (typically younger or inexperienced) into sexual compliance though prolonged emotional conditioning.

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143 Comments

lord411
lord411
@fuckriri1234 I am not "strawmaning" it when this is full of shit already, in fact I feel stupid myself for even trying to keep things logical in this dance of ridiculousness. The current discussion is completely about defining "grooming" itself instead of presenting examples of "grooming in hentai". If you haven't even decided wtf the former is, then why tf was this proposal even made? Obviously because some people really want hentai to be labeled "grooming" and now they are randomly making shit up.
lenga
lenga
Establishing Absolute Trust: The manipulator positions themselves as the only person who truly understands or appreciates the other character, often fulfilling an unmet need—like mentorship, protection, or validation—to create a deep sense of indebtedness. Systematic Isolation: They subtly drive wedges between the character and their existing support system. They might criticize friends, intercept communications, or frame the outside world as hostile, ensuring the character relies solely on them for emotional support. Testing and Pushing Boundaries: The manipulator introduces small, seemingly innocuous boundary violations (such as lingering physical contact or inappropriate personal questions) to gauge resistance. If the character accepts or ignores the violation, the manipulator establishes a new baseline for acceptable behavior.
lenga
lenga
> if none of the participants parties is actively grooming but have a relationship that seems to be born from grooming, should be assumed grooming? Grooming requires predatory action, not just a problematic dynamic. If neither party is actively manipulating, isolating, or exploiting a power imbalance to condition the other, it is not grooming. Relationships can be heavily codependent, possessive, deeply toxic, or feature severe power disparities without actually involving grooming. However, in a fictional context, if the structural dynamic heavily mimics grooming—such as a significantly older/powerful character entirely shaping a younger/weaker character's worldview before becoming sexual—readers will likely interpret it as grooming, regardless of the characters' internal intentions.
lenga
lenga
> At the end, the characters relationship needs to remain the same or something more after the sexual stuff? The relationship's outcome does not define whether grooming occurred. Grooming is defined entirely by the process of exploitation, not the aftermath. After the sexual abuse occurs, the relationship might remain trapped in a cycle of secrecy, it might escalate into a public relationship, or the abuser might abruptly discard the victim once they get what they want. The presence of grooming is established by how the sexual access was obtained, regardless of what the relationship turns into afterward.
lenga
lenga
> Does using an already existing relationship, that was not build with grooming in mind, still count if they just so thought of using it as grooming? Yes, weaponizing an existing relationship is still grooming. Grooming does not require premeditation from the very first meeting. A person in a position of trust—such as a mentor, family friend, or authority figure—might have a perfectly normal relationship with someone for years. If they later decide to exploit that established trust by slowly pushing sexual boundaries, introducing secrecy, and leveraging their authority for sexual compliance, that shift marks the beginning of grooming.
lenga
lenga
>grooming is every successful manipulation to sexual compliance created through a relationship? Not all manipulation is grooming. While grooming relies heavily on manipulation, the term specifically refers to a systematic, predatory process of building trust, isolating the victim, and gradually desensitizing them to boundary violations. It almost always relies on a significant power imbalance (such as age, authority, or emotional dependency). For example, a peer lying or using emotional guilt to get a date is coercive and manipulative, but "grooming" implies a deeper, structural conditioning designed to normalize abuse and prevent the victim from speaking out.
Imatterfap_Asamatte_Roff_Act_8
Imatterfap_Asamatte_Roff_Act_8
I started to thing more about some scenarios, I just want clarification; grooming is every successful manipulation to sexual compliance created through a relationship? Does using an already existing relationship, that was not build with grooming in mind, still count if they just so thought of using it as grooming? At the end, the characters relationship needs to remain the same or something more after the sexual stuff? if none of the participants parties is actively grooming but have a relationship that seems to be born from grooming, should be assumed grooming? I'm gonna try find some examples later, cause that's some genuine questions of mine.
fuckriri1234
fuckriri1234
@lord411 > Step-mother going for her new stepson, Real mother-son incest, Teacher-student, Prostitutes offering service to high schooler, Hypnosis stories with wholesome ending, Going for your maids. - i feel it necessary to reiterate grooming must have a *blatant intent to manipulate* the other. Not a single one of these examples inherently have that intention to manipulate. You're conflating power dynamics with grooming
fuckriri1234
fuckriri1234
if these series are "usual loli incest stuff" then it's because they all contain grooming lol > There was no clear definition to begin with and everyone is just jumping between completely opposing points. - But there was. The very first definition was lacking so users joined the discussion to improve it; we settled on the current description. There weren't ever "completely opposing points," just development. If you can't follow this evolution, I don't know what to tell you. > You all just decided to label some hentai as "grooming" and are now randomly trying to put together a definition hoping it'll stick with something - You began straw-manning it 5 days ago, but the definition was already put together 14 days ago. > This nonsense proposal was never about describing any common trope in hentai - What was it about then?
fuckriri1234
fuckriri1234
@lord411 that's a false equivalence. the examples i gave have *blatant intent to manipulate* whereas "every loli shota doujin" does not. some quotes from the first series: > But slowly her expression changes into the melty face that I've always dreamed of pg50 > now she has come to love sex as much as i do [...] ive been [teaching] her about sex [...] my daughter's body learns so very quickly pg 2-3 > now miori's the one accepting me pg16 > the daughter i raised so carefully is [redacted] pg20 > "dad why did you do it with me in the first place? ... i would've been fine if you hadn't taught me about all of this" "but you made dad feel very happy y'know" pg10 > i want to keep having sex [...] as she grows up pg34 > miori's weak against pressure pg43 > ill make her realize all her holes are just for me pg57 > pg65-68 > compared to back then, miori... i've raised you to be incredibly perverted pg25
lord411
lord411
@fuckriri1234 example 1 is no different from usual father-daughter, example 2 may start with deception but it's mostly usual loli incest stuff. If these two need to be specifically labeled "grooming", then every loli shota doujin where the older takes the initiative would be "grooming" by your definition, and that's just nonsense. And reading through the discussion, it's clear no one even thought this was an existing genre. There was no clear definition to begin with and everyone is just jumping between completely opposing points. You all just decided to label some hentai as "grooming" and are now randomly trying to put together a definition hoping it'll stick with something. This nonsense proposal was never about describing any common trope in hentai.
akashako
akashako
The current description is no different than what the "mind break" tag is.
Imatterfap_Asamatte_Roff_Act_8
Imatterfap_Asamatte_Roff_Act_8
@lenga yeah, ig is mostly known as sexual abuse, I have been wondering, what about works where that trust is broken and there's not a good relationship between the characters anymore? If these don't count, I think rephrasing the description to a successful manipulation will make less confusing
lord411
lord411
if you insist on continuing this stupidity then why dont you provide clear examples where this will be useful. if this is a "common enough trope" then it must be easy to provide at least a dozen examples where this is a clearly a major part of the story.
lenga
lenga
@Imatterfap_Asamatte_Roff_Act_8 Google says : Abuse and Manipulation: A deliberate process where an offender builds a trust-based relationship and emotional connection with a child, teen, or vulnerable adult to manipulate, control, and exploit them (most commonly for sexual abuse). How it Happens: A groomer may act friendly, give gifts, or target a victim's insecurities, and the process can happen online or in person over weeks, months, or years. The difference between <grooming> and <manipulation> is the time window, grooming doesn't happen in a day or two, manipulation or deceit does.
Imatterfap_Asamatte_Roff_Act_8
Imatterfap_Asamatte_Roff_Act_8
what do you mean? isn't grooming mental exploitation?
lord411
lord411
@Imatterfap_Asamatte_Roff_Act_8 bro wtf are you even saying, why are you bringing your parents into a discussion about grooming
Imatterfap_Asamatte_Roff_Act_8
Imatterfap_Asamatte_Roff_Act_8
I think intention it's the difference, otherwise my parents were grooming me
lord411
lord411
If you use real world logic every loli and shota doujin is "grooming". Doesn't matter if it's wholesome, it's still an adult with children so by real world logic it's grooming. Even outside of that 80% of hentai would be grooming by real world logic. Step-mother going for her new stepson - grooming. Real mother-son incest - grooming. Teacher-student relationship - grooming. Prostitutes offering service to high schooler - grooming. Hypnosis stories with wholesome ending - still grooming because of hypnosis. Going for your maids - a boss preying on his employees. This is just stupid
lenga
lenga
Redundant with what exactly? Every single tag is people pushing what they believe fits, that's why there's a voting system so people can vote in favor or against it's application. If most people agree to the tag being applied to any work, it means that work effectively has that component to it
lord411
lord411
This is an horrible idea and an open invitation for shitshow. For one, in fiction and especially in porn there is no clear line for what does and doesn't count as predatory. Secondly, a whole bunch of people are going to tag specific doujins to further push what they personally consider as grooming. And at the end of the day this is a very redundant tag.
Imatterfap_Asamatte_Roff_Act_8
Imatterfap_Asamatte_Roff_Act_8
just thought no penetration would still count as sexual compliance. blowjob, titjob, thighjob still count as sexual to me either way, you do you
lenga
lenga
There are the "no penetration" type of tags so imagine a multiwork series where the first chapter is entirely dedicated to the grooming and the fappable are of the groomer imagining the groomed one in sexual positions, there's no sexual activity involved here yet but the grooming already is. Your description is a bit of mouthful, a bit too clinical and I think the simpler description that's in place is fine because it's already shorter than many descriptions while also being clear about what it means
Imatterfap_Asamatte_Roff_Act_8
Imatterfap_Asamatte_Roff_Act_8
You could make the description shorter: "Depicts the systematic psychological manipulation though prolonged emotional conditioning." of a character; psychological manipulation already implies a mind of a character, typically younger or inexperienced; but not always younger or inexperienced, right? into sexual compliance; this is an adult site, is there a scenario where sexual compliance doesn't happen but you would still tag as grooming? sorry if this come as annoying, that's just me trying to clarify some questions I have
lenga
lenga
@swiftyooh done
swiftyooh
swiftyooh
@lenga Please update the description to make more sense/something along the lines of what I suggested. This tag is seriously needed and I don't want it getting declined when It gets its turn. Also the mods are starting to be really strict and they declined Aftercare just because they didn't like the description.
fuckriri1234
fuckriri1234
artist [midori no rupe] does this a lot and it's honestly just depressing
lenga
lenga
I think #suggestions=active is one exemple of grooming, so you guys can picture this
lenga
lenga
Yeah, I also think this would be applied to works where the grooming already happened off camera, since it's a continuos effort to keep the grooming uncovered, maybe this will help the lolicons come to the rescue of this tag
M8 GTE
M8 GTE
N-Hentai seriously needs this as a tag. It’s going to be a VERY long time until it gets accepted though. I’m legitimately surprised this is not already a tag since it’s so prevalent in hentai doujins.
lenga
lenga
Yes, I think that this tag just slipped out of everyone's mind throughout the years. A shame this one got banished to the backlines
swiftyooh
swiftyooh
Came back to also add that the Moral Degradation, corruption, and Mind break tags are often used as place holders for Grooming since they are often the result of grooming.
wwilliam
wwilliam
@swiftyooh definition is better
kurokii
kurokii
I would love a grooming tag, and it doesn't necessarily have to fall into an adult grooming a minor situation. It could be similar to feminization where they've been groomed into becoming a girl or accepting they are a bottom. is a good example of a guy being groomed into a girl, with help of estrogen!
redsling
redsling
I like @swiftyooh definition better tbh
swiftyooh
swiftyooh
Grooming is a very much needed tag but the definition could be better. "Depicts the systematic psychological manipulation of a character (typically younger or inexperienced) into sexual compliance though prolonged emotional conditioning" Would be a much better definition/description.
Jor25
Jor25
@longusmongus While this can (and often is) part of pedophilia, it can also be used for when someone is raising a person from childhood in order to ensure they are whatever sort of person the groomer wants them to be, with the intent of marrying them or using them for sexual purposes when they reach adulthood. The memey name for this is Wife Husbandry, and it also shows up in classic Japanese literature in The Tale of Genji.
marmalade
marmalade
Agree with @Tobon.
longusmongus
longusmongus
Isn't that just pedophilia?
Pornupine
Pornupine
The definition could be improved, but I think it's a tag worth having because it's specific and like @Tobon said currently hard to search for.
lenga
lenga
I also think your description is better, also agree that it' should not include the ones where it starts whith rape or blackmail (subtype of rape).
Tobon
Tobon
Hard agree. I actually came here specifically to suggest this tag. It's a very specific and a strong component of many works that's currently impossible to search for. However, I don't like the description, it's often not an "adult" character, or in a "manipulative" way (think initial blackmail where small gradual acts are initially "forced", but act as the "grooming" in the long run. Or smalldom/shotadom/onee-shota for the "adult" part). It's also missing the "slow/gradual" component which I think is the most defining characteristic. I'm not entirely sure how these things work yet, but here's my more general suggestion: "A (usually) older character or authority figure (teacher, coach, parent) gradually works their way into a younger or more naive character's trust, desires, or psyche, with the intent of sexual involvement and fostering loyalty, control or submission."
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